


Moony and the Artichoke

by milesofblue



Series: The Padfoot & Moony Chronicles [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anal Sex, Bantering like an old married couple, Blow Jobs, Explicit Language, Floor Sex, Fluff and Smut, Height Differences, Horny Teenagers, Hot AF Sirius, Hot Sex, M/M, Meaningful sex, Modern Day, Motorcycles, Mutual respect and adoration, Nerdy Remus, No war, One smol one tol, Smoking, Snogging, True Love, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:35:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22731088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milesofblue/pseuds/milesofblue
Summary: Remus just wants to have a nice evening out with his hot AF man...problem is, it’s the full moon and Sirius has other plans. It starts with an artichoke and ends with a bang!🔥
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: The Padfoot & Moony Chronicles [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1636567
Comments: 2
Kudos: 72





	Moony and the Artichoke

**Author's Note:**

> Two things prompted me to write this story: Discovering Ian and Mickey from "Shameless", and being given a deep-fried artichoke against my will on Valentine's Day.
> 
> The rest is history.

***

~S~

“This all looks pretty swanky…”

“ _You’re_ the one that wanted to go on a _date_ -date,” Sirius huffed, staring at his menu.

“We should get an appetizer…”

“Whatever…”

“Oooh deep-fried artichoke hearts…”

Sirius curled his lip up in disgust. Of course Remus would go for a _vegetable_.

“But it says it’s two-thousand calories…”

“What, are you watching your figure?”

Remus rolled his eyes. “No. It’s just not _healthy_.”

“Moony, get the goddamn artichoke.”

“Will you eat it, too?”

“I’m gonna eat something tonight, and it ain’t gonna be an _artichoke_.” He lowered his menu, just below his eyes, and shot him a smoldering look.

Remus gulped and squirmed in his seat.

“Okay, we’ll get the artichoke then.”

“Thank the fuckin’ gods!”

***

~S~

“Try it…I bet you’ll like it,” Remus said, waggling a piece of artichoke between his fingers.

“I ain’t touchin’ that shit.”

“You sound like a bloody truck driver, you know?”

“Been watching too much _Shameless_.”

Remus smirked and popped the greasy vegetable in his mouth, then proceeded to slowly lick his fingers.

“You look like a fuckin’ _lunatic_ doing that. Stop.” Sirius hissed.

“Me? A _lunatic_?” Remus said with ridiculous, overly-wide eyes. “I hate the goddamn moon.”

Sirius smirked and drug his fingers back through his hair, swiping it over to the side. “Speaking of…Full moon tonight.”

“Like I didn’t know.”

“Good. So can we get the hell out of here and go bang? We’re losing daylight.”

Remus’ mouth fell open slightly, bits of fried artichoke falling out. “No. We came here to have a proper date and we’re gonna _have one_.”

“Fabulous. So does that include you turning into a hairy beast right in the middle of this restaurant and biting all these people?”

“Maybe. I’m not leaving until I’ve had _dessert_.”

Sirius huffed and narrowed his eyes, staring him down.

Remus stared back defiantly, his jaw clenched. 

“Or we could just leave and have _dessert_ somewhere else…” Sirius whispered, barely moving his lips.

“Do you just want to get in my pants? Is that all you ever think about?” Remus hissed back with wide eyes, a piece of copper hair falling over his eyebrow.

But Sirius didn’t miss the slight sparkle in his eyes, or the barely-there smirk.

He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back casually in his chair, biting down on his bottom lip and holding it between his teeth. He started breathing heavier and heavier, his chest heaving up and down as he scrunched his eyebrows.

Remus’ pupils expanded to the size of dinner plates, his nostrils flaring and jaw falling open slightly.

“I think I’m ready for dessert,” he murmured.

“Good. I’ll get the check,” Sirius said, slapping his thighs and scooting his chair back. He grabbed his leather jacket and started pulling it on.

***

~R~

Remus drank in every last detail of him.

The tight black jeans painted on his shapely thighs, the pale skin of his lower belly, and the sharp hipbones jutting out over the top of his waistband...and that little trail of dark hair dipping just below it…

“See something you like?” Sirius asked, zipping up his jacket and smirking.

“Y-yes,” Remus stuttered.

***

~S~

Sirius relished the affect he had on the boy. Nothing was more thrilling. Moony was terrible at hiding his emotions. It was one of his more annoyingly-irresistible traits. Playing games with him was so damn easy. _Fucking_ him was so damn easy. _Sucking_ him was so damn easy.

And so was _loving_ him.

Albeit, painful in the heart…but a _good_ kind of pain.

There was nothing _not_ to love about him.

His blatant honesty…his unwavering good intentions and unending kindness… _his unconditional love and acceptance._

All things Sirius never thought he’d touch with a ten foot pole.

But now he couldn’t keep his hands off them.

It was difficult for him to actually _tell_ Remus how he felt most of the time…and he liked to keep up his _mystique_ —he was the “Man of Mystery” at Hogwarts after all. A title well-earned.

But only Remus was allowed to get beyond that facade. The boy wormed his way past all of his defenses…just by simply being himself.

Moony held the power in his little pinky to make him drop all of his shields and bare his fucking soul. If that wasn’t _magic_ , then he didn’t know what was.

There was just something about the kid.

He made him go bat-shit crazy.

***

~R~

Remus’ heart was beating out of his chest as Sirius walked back to the table, or more like _sauntered_ —as women _and men_ shot him not-so-subtle glances filled with curiosity and desire.

Remus still didn’t know how he got so lucky.

How in the hell did this sexy, devil-may-care _god_ give a damn about him?

He was just a nerdy boy with a werewolf problem. He enjoyed rainy days and sipping earl grey tea whilst swaddled in a duvet and reading romantic novels.

Sirius liked polishing his motorcycle until he could see his face in the chrome; doing push ups to show off; perfecting his I-don’t-give-a-damn-about-my-hair look in the mirror, and listening to rock music on full blast. And cigarettes… _so many cigarettes._

“Ready, babe?”

Remus’ breath faltered. He nodded and licked his lips, scooting his chair back and standing up. Was it just him or was the room tilting?

Sirius held up a white, styrofoam to-go box in one hand. “Dessert,” he said with a lop-sided grin.

“But I thought—"

“Don’t get your tail in a tangle, Moony. This is for _after_.”

Remus swallowed hard, feeling as if his heart was lodged in his throat...which it probably was. He ran his fingers over the back of his neck and felt sweat forming, instantly overwhelmed with the feeling of dread.

He flashed his eyes around wildly, looking for the full moon. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Sirius said, stepping so close he could feel his warm breath on his face. “It’s not time yet,” he whispered in a soothing voice.

Remus closed his eyes and nodded, feeling like an idiot. Even after a lifetime of _changing_ , it still scared the shit out of him.

One of his greatest fears was _turning_ in public and harming others. If he were ever to hurt anyone…turn some innocent bystander…he could never live with himself.

And while Sirius always made light of this possibility with stupid jokes, Remus knew the man understood his fear more than anyone.

“Yeah, I just feel hot,” Remus mumbled, tugging at the collar of his green polo shirt with his finger.

“Maybe it’s because you’re with _me_. Ever think of that, Moony?”

Remus breathed a sigh of relief and smiled down at the man.

Would he ever get over the fact that smart-mouthed, power-bottom-Sirius was almost a head shorter than him? No. He would always find it completely and utterly endearing. Plus, he loved getting things off the top shelf for him.

“C’mon, lets get outta here,” Sirius said, tugging on his khaki jacket and pulling him forward, reaching his hand back as they moved past tables and caressing his arm reassuringly with his fingers.

He could breathe better now.

He felt safe now.

As long as Padfoot was by his side, he could get through another _changing_ …and another…and another…

***

~S~

Sirius hated to see that look in Remus’ eyes.

The look of terror that he just might turn into a monster in broad daylight.

The look he got whenever he saw the moon…always sad and wistful during the New Moon, and growing ever more watchful and anxious as the yellow orb grew larger and larger with each passing day, dictating his very life.

Sirius tried to make light of the situation. He always had. Back in the day he did it just because he didn’t know _what_ to say. He could tell Remus was scared—hell, _they all were_ —and so he just tried to lighten the tension. But then, as his feelings grew deeper for the boy, he made the jokes to erase his pain. To see him smile instead of brood, to chuckle and shake his head instead of glower.

A sad, depressed Moony broke his heart in every way.

They had certainly survived some terrible times, but in the end, they'd only brought them closer together. He wouldn’t change that for the world, but he just wished that one magical fucking day, Remus wouldn’t be a werewolf anymore.

As infantile as it seemed, he would never stop wishing.

Remus was resigned to live with the problem, but he wasn’t. And not because he couldn’t love him as he was, but because he couldn’t bare to see him in pain. 

He used to steal James’ Cloak and sneak down to the Restricted Section at night, and pour over every book he could find on werewolf bites, searching for a possible antidote. But there simply were none.

You’d think that some goddamn wizard would have found a cure in a thousand years time…

And why Moony? _Of all people?_ This sweet kid that wouldn’t hurt a fly. Why did he have to live with this completely sick, fucked-up nightmare?

If anyone deserved to be bit it was _Snivellus_ —Sirius would gladly lock him in a room with a werewolf.

***

~R~

Remus slid onto the back of Sirius’ motorcycle and wrapped his arms around the man’s muscular torso, burying his face in his leather jacket and inhaling the comforting scent, absorbing his warmth. He didn’t have to look at him to know he was smirking. He was _always_ smirking when they touched.

Sirius revved the engine and turned them onto the London road, his black hair whipping Remus in the face as he ducked his head down. He never could get the wanker to wear a helmet. So reckless.

Twilight was rapidly encroaching and Remus’ heart beat faster. He wanted to get to shelter and _fast_. What was he thinking? Trying to be out and about on a full moon. _He_ was the reckless one. And Sirius was just dumb enough, or _indulgent_ enough, to go along with it.

He squeezed the man tighter into his body, hugging him close.

But Sirius always knew exactly what he needed...before he even asked.

When they first got together it was so hard for Remus to speak up and say what he wanted. Whether it was for Sirius to pass him a quill or kindly suck his dick. The latter he still had trouble with. Thankfully, Sirius always seemed to know exactly what he wanted just by staring in his eyes, and that always put him greatly at ease.

They had more conversations with their _eyes_ than they did their mouths.

And it was in all those small ways that Remus knew despite Sirius’ dark demeanor and biting sarcasm, the man was head-over-heels for him.

Yes, Sirius Black was _all his._

The man didn’t _speak_ of his love as much as he _showed_ it. And Remus never took that for granted.

He kissed his shoulder, tasting the oil of his leather jacket, and pressed his forehead into his neck. He knew Sirius was hurrying for him; he didn’t need to say a word.

They arrived back at their street and silently climbed off the bike. Sirius turned off the motor and walked it into the alleyway, parking it, and waving his wand over it; hiding it with a cloaking spell. They’d long outgrown Invisibility Cloaks.

“Ready?” Sirius asked, shoving the keys in his front jean pockets, the gesture pulling his waistband down slightly, revealing a strip of pale skin.

Remus nodded and followed behind him.

He always felt a little weird using Sirius’ uncle, Alphard Black’s, old flat to mess around in. But it was free and private. The man had left everything he had to Sirius after he’d mysteriously passed away that year. Which had worked out perfectly for Sirius since his family had completely cut him off, leaving him penniless and devastated. Now, he had a small fortune to do whatever the hell he wanted with.

Sirius turned the key in the lock and opened the emerald-green door, flicking on the light. The place was much more posh on the inside than it appeared on the outside. Another enchantment.

Sirius’ uncle was like a procurer of old-wizarding-world valuables. The place was packed with rare and enchanted things—from silver swords to jewel-encrusted umbrella holders and diamond studded teapots. The man seemed like an _eccentric_ in every way and there was no telling what the flat’s contents were worth, but Sirius hadn’t shown any interest in selling things off.

Remus shut the door behind them and shrugged his jacket off, hanging it on a golden coat hook in the shape of a dragon’s head—probably made of solid gold.

He watched transfixed as Sirius slowly peeled his leather jacket off and then drug his fingers back through his hair, swiping it to the side seductively—he had a particular way of doing it that made Remus’ insides quiver and his legs turn to jelly. The man had surely perfected the art of _casual sex appe_ al. Every gesture, every effortless movement, made Remus’ pulse quicken and eyes dilate. And he knew he wasn’t the only one to be overpowered by his charms. He didn’t miss the hungry glances his classmates, and even some flustered teachers, shot the man-boy.

Sirius was hard to resist.

Remus ran his eyes down the man's body, stopping on his groin. Was he already hard? Either that, or he’d stuffed his billfold down his pants. Not likely.

He took in a sharp inhale and moved straight towards him, as if under a spell.

“Wanna eat this now…or later?” Sirius asked, holding up the styrofoam box and lightly shaking it. “I got your favorite—chocolate torte—"

Remus lunged for him and the box fell to the coffee table with a thud. He latched onto his mouth and enveloped him in his arms. 

Sirius stood frozen-stiff for a split-second, before grabbing a handful of Remus’ shirt and yanking it out of his pants, pushing up on his toes and kissing him back just as savagely.

Remus grabbed Sirius’ belt, his fingers fumbling with the latch. Why did he always have to wear it so goddamn _tight_?

“I got it,” Sirius breathed between wet, desperate kisses, reaching down and yanking it off himself. He tossed it to the side.

Remus slid his trembling hands up Sirius’ bare abs, over his erect, pink nipples and yanked his black t-shirt up and over his head, getting a dizzying whiff of his sweet, pine-scented deodorant as he did.

“Moony…I’ve never seen you…like this,” Sirius breathed between sloppy kisses, managing to expertly undo his belt and unzip his fly. Sirius had the most agile fingers. He was never clumsy.

“We have less than an hour,” Remus hissed, running his hands all over bare skin. But it wasn’t enough. It was _never_ enough. He wanted to swallow him whole.

“Then let’s make it count,” Sirius breathed by his ear, holding him still and then lightly biting the shell between his teeth.

Remus groaned and slipped his trembling hand right inside the front of Sirius’ jeans, grabbing hold of his hot bulge through his briefs, and squeezing.

Sirius let out a feral grunt and dug his fingers into the tops of his shoulders, probably leaving bruises, which he would relentlessly kiss away in the days to follow. He always did.

Remus continued to clutch him in his hand; knead him; stroke him in all the ways he knew the man loved. _Craved._

He relished the fact that he knew Sirius better than anybody. Knew exactly how to please him, how to make him whine and beg, and cry out in ecstasy.

Sirius grabbed the hem of his polo shirt and yanked it up and over his head, tossing it the ground, and then hooked his fingers into the waistband of his pants and briefs and shoved them both down to his ankles in one fell swoop. Remus grabbed the waistband of Sirius' jeans and did the same. They lunged for each other, both trying to kick off their clothes in a hurry, but got tangled, and toppled to the floor in a heap.

“Shit!” Sirius hissed.

“What is it?”

“The goddamn dragon head.”

Alphard Black had a _thing_ for dragons, and one of his many collectables was a giant, dragon hide rug, complete with head and all. They weren't sure if it was actually _real_ , or just a really good replica, but either way, the head had always proved to be a tripping hazard.

Remus laughed and rolled them away from the thing, over towards the fireplace. He held up his hand and blew across the palm, shooting sparks into the grate and bathing the room in warm, orange light.

“Show off,” Sirius said grinning smugly underneath him.

Remus smirked down at him. “I thought you might like some ambiance.”

Sirius smiled wistfully and then brushed Remus’ hair back gently with his fingers, studying his face for a moment. “You’re fucking beautiful, you know?” he whispered, his pupils so large all the sapphire-blue had been swallowed up.

Remus gaped at him, his heart pounding mercilessly against his chest. Only Sirius would tell him something like that at a time like this.

He was rendered speechless.

So instead of replying with his mouth, he replied with his _body_ , lowering himself down and pressing his bare flesh into the man, feeling him quiver underneath him. He leaned down and kissed him on the mouth, prying his lips open and swallowing the deep groan welling up inside Sirius’ chest. He slipped his eager, wet tongue inside, exploring all the wonderfully familiar nooks and crannies.

Sirius squirmed beneath him and wrapped his legs around his bare hips, crossing his ankles and clutching his face between his warm palms.

“God, Moony…” he groaned between desperate kisses. “I wanted to…come here to…cheer… _you_ up.”

Remus pulled back and their lips separated, making a sucking sound. Sirius lifted his head up off the floor, straining for more.

“You _are_ cheering me up,” Remus whispered, peering down at him and gently rubbing his thumb over the man's sharp cheekbone.

Sirius exhaled heavily and closed his eyes, his beautiful face contorting in pain as Remus rubbed harder and harder against him, thrusting his pelvis forward.

“Jesus Christ, Moony!”

Remus continued to rub into him and dropped his face to the man’s neck, sucking hungry bruises down to his collar bone, licking his unbearably soft skin.

“Consider this a _thank you_ ,” Remus whispered, his lips pressed against his ear.

“For what?” Sirius groaned.

“For loving me so good.”

Sirius’ mouth opened in shock, his red lips parting and eyes scrunching shut. Remus kissed him hard, _ruthlessly_ , stealing all his breath away, before sliding down his body.

Sirius writhed on the floor, his sculpted muscles clenching and unclenching before Remus clasped his swollen cock in his hand and slid it right into his mouth, bobbing his head up and down, sucking him vigorously, just how Sirius liked it. Hard and deep.

He dug his fingers into the man's bare hip bones and squeezed, pushing him even further down his throat.

“Fuck! I’m gonna loose it, Moony!”

Remus let him slip out of his mouth with a pop and then flipped him around to his stomach. He hovered over his clenched, bare bottom and slowly trailed a finger down his spine, relishing the way he trembled under his touch.

“Stop teasing me!” Sirius hissed, huffing and puffing and pounding his fists into the dragon hide rug.

Remus smiled devilishly, conjuring some lube on his open palm. He positioned himself, and then slid his dick right between the two sweetest arse cheeks in all the world.

***

~S~

God, _Moony’s dick_. It would be the death of him.

In more ways than one.

The boy was large.

_Wonderfully thick._

Sirius gripped onto the rug and convulsed as the boy slid into him…torturously in and out, in and out…hitting his sweet spot every time. In perfect rhythm. 

Remus knew _every one_ of his sweet spots.

Like it was his job or something.

Sirius didn’t complain.

He’d made memorizing Moony’s sweet spots his job, too. He always aimed to please.

And tonight, even amidst his cock exploding beneath him, he wished they had more time so he could wreck the boy.

Like it was his _job._

Watching and hearing Moony come undone was his favorite pass time.

“URGH!” he grunted as Remus slammed into him, harder and harder, his balls slapping against his ass with each driving blow.

“C’mon, Padfoot, I’ll release it…if _you_ … _will_ ,” the boy growled after pounding into him with such force Sirius was seeing stars.

“Fuck!” he yelped, feeling himself uncoil like a spring, releasing his warm cum all over the rug as Remus exploded inside him.

Only Moony could make his goddamn toes curl.

“I love you,” Remus breathed, collapsing on his back, knocking all his air out.

“I know, Moony. I know,” Sirius panted.

***

~S~

“Did you two just fuck?”

James pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and pursed his lips.

They’d apparated back to Hogsmeade, and James and Peter were waiting for them inside the Shrieking Shack.

“No,” they both said in unison.

Sirius’ hair was an _actual_ disheveled mess, his black jeans were twisted, and his belt unbuckled. He shot a sideways glance at Remus.

If his appearance wasn’t enough of a giveaway, then Remus’ sweat-drenched hair, swollen lips, and glazed-over eyes certainly were.

Peter huffed and narrowed his beady eyes. “All you gotta do is look at ‘em.”

“Gross,” James said, rolling his eyes. “You couldn’t have waited until after?”

“ _After_ , Moony will be too tired to do anything, much less suck my dick,” Sirius drawled.

James and Peter both recoiled, grimacing.

Remus barked out a laugh like an idiot.

Sirius tried to bite back his smile but couldn’t. He’d just been fucked into oblivion. All he wanted to do was smile. He pulled out a cigarette and flicked open his silver lighter.

“It’s almost time, we need to get changed,” James said. “Put that thing out."

“When I’m good and ready, Prongs. When I’m good and ready.” He took a deep drag and tilted his head back, blowing the smoke up at the decaying wooden ceiling. “Here,” he said, holding it out to Remus.

Remus took the cigarette from his fingers, grinning as their skin touched, and placed it between his lips, inhaling deeply.

Sirius’ breath hitched as he stared at him in the darkness; the glowing orange light of the cigarette, and Moony’s dark, shining eyes were all he could see.

“James?” Remus asked, holding the cigarette out to the boy.

“Oh, fine,” James huffed, snatching it from his hand and taking a deep inhale before dropping it on the floor and smashing it under his boot. “You’re gonna burn this place down one day,” he snapped at Sirius.

“I would never be so careless,” he said, shooting a smoldering glance at Remus.

Remus licked his swollen lips, his nostrils flaring.

_Those goddamn lips!_

He could still feel them wrapped around his dick, burning through his skin and sucking the very life out of him. Moony had the strongest mouth. Relentless. Untiring. He could go on for hours.

Sirius felt himself getting hard again and absently slid his hand down to his fly, adjusting himself in his jeans.

They continued to stare at each other in the darkness, both desperately wanting the same thing.

“It’s time!” Peter hissed, peering out the window.

A shard of moonlight pierced the darkness, landing right across Remus’ face.

Sirius watched with a pounding heart as the boy’s eyes widened; his pupils dilating to capacity, and his mouth opening wider as his canines grew longer.

The fear in Remus’ eyes would never not undo him.

“I love you,” he mouthed, before quickly morphing into his Animagus, along with James and Peter.

For a moment, they all stared at each other silently. Waiting.

Remus threw his beastly head back and howled. Deep and mournful.

And then they were off running…

Until the early morning light.

***

**Author's Note:**

> I had a blast writing this and I'm sure I'll write more in the future! This is just a little snack! ☺️ Hope you enjoyed it! Let me know your thoughts in the comments!
> 
> 📌 Read part 2 of this series, "Duvet Days & Vanilla Ice-Cream"! 👉
> 
> ~Listen to "Trampoline" by SHAED & ZAYN. That song + Moony and Padfoot getting hot and heavy. Wow.


End file.
